I told myself we would never lose this. But there, as I watched this couple newly wed after 5 months, cuddled up on the couch, the love seat no less; constantly touching, arms around each other, not a single amount of space between them; staring lovingly at each other when they were talking. I took a breath, I remembered it all too well.
And there we were, almost 5 years into marriage, two children later with 1 on the way sitting on the bigger couch, each on our own cushion, comfortably sitting next to each other, but not touching, not holding hands. You could fit another person between us. And in shock I realized oh no we had lost it! That spark, the honeymoon phase, the googly eyes, the childish laughter. My biggest fear was coming true. Life, the reality of responsibilities and adult decisions has hit us too hard, we have lost ourselves, we have lost our love, our craziness for each other.
But had we really lost something, or have we gained so much more?
We all can remember being a newly wed or maybe you are in the sweet season right now. It’s bliss, and it’s vital to the start of your forever. Cherish it, embrace it but don’t be afraid when it starts to fade.
You see…the fading away of the honeymoon phase is the real test. The love of your life’s perfect shell starts to crack. The laziness, the selfish, the harsh word spoken, the look that is given that says more than words can, you know...the one that cuts you to your core, it comes out and you’re taken back.
But oh what a picture of love, of Christ’s love marriage is. How when our ugly, our flesh covers us, Christ’s perfect love pursues us more, relentlessly, tirelessly, constantly. And how do we model that in marriage? That is the real test of your love’s depth. When flesh comes out do we respond in flesh or in grace?
I see now how our love has grown, it has been tested. Our love has felt loss, complete and utter brokenness from life. Our love has come face to face with death and our love has learned to say, “It is well”. Our love has been pulled, pushed, and tossed by storms that different seasons of life can bring. But through it all we come out stronger. Rooted. Tighter. And more in Love.
Now as I sit by him, I am filled up simply with his presence. To be near him is enough, his profile, the way his eyelashes move when he blinks. His legs stretched out on the coffee table as we sit in silence resting at the end of a long day. His voice, his thoughts on the Bible, on Jesus, on suffering in this life. I breathe him in and learn, I am led by him and I can rest and simply just enjoy him.
There are seasons to love, and if the roots are deep and the water is fresh the love will grow, sway, and adapt with the changes, the seasons, with time.
And to model Christ in every season, now that’s the purpose.