To the Girl Who Compares
To the Girl who Struggles with Comparing,
I totally understand. It is so hard to be fully confident in who you are and too easy to think you are missing something that someone else has. Like breathing, we do it and don't realize it until we have thoughts that have been running through our minds for so long until they run straight down to our hearts and they come out in passing words or unsatisfied glances in the mirror. It's true...you and me, in a world that tells you beauty fits in this box and success fits in this circle, it's easy to feel like a triangle that just doesn't belong. But I am here to wrap my arm around your shoulder and remind you that you can't be measured. Maybe your waist can, but your soul isn't measured, and your soul is the only thing that matters.
And when it comes to material stuff, the house, the clothes, the wants and the needs... we often feel like we have been shortchanged, like God is holding out on us. Like a child in time-out who now misses out you feel like you have been led to the same fate.. you are missing out. Someone has it better, someone's got it good. Which means if they have it good you must have it bad.
You know what I think is causing us to get stuck in a cycle of comparing? The quantity of time we are seeing what other people have. I recently read something that said, "Pay attention to what you pay attention to." Pay attention to what gets your attention and then ask yourself why? Force yourself to stop and not just go on with the day and carry now feeling as if it has attached itself to you. But stop and ask why. You might be surprised what you uncover, but it's no surprise to your heavenly Father what is there.
In Matthew 20, where Jesus is teaching the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard. This is an illustration exceptionally brought to life by the best story teller, Jesus. He is talking about salvation and that it doesn't matter how late someone comes to Christ in their life they still get the beautiful gift of eternal life. But I noticed something new, like you can often do no matter how many times you read the Bible, that the workers were content with what they had been given for their wages UNTIL they saw what the others had.
They said yes to this amount that was given to them and they believed it to be fair, but their mindset changed when they saw that others worked less and were given the same as them. They began to compare. "They didn't work as hard as I did why do they get this? They didn't earn it!"
And isn't that just like us. We are content UNTIL we scroll through instagram and see that So and So got a new house, or she's pregnant again. Or she gets her nails done every week. New floors, a new car? The luxury vacations, the Christmas cabin... I could go on. We didn't feel discontent until we started taking in what everyone else has. We close out our phone and then that 30 minutes of comparing comes in comments out at your husband when he gets home from work or your kids or yourself.
We were just not created to have so much coming at us throughout the day. Our minds can't handle that in less than an hour you can see over 100 peoples highlights and you're left feeling completely inadequate and maybe that God is holding out on you. And if you reading that line made your heart sink a bit. I would start there. Do you really think God the Father, who made you, and loves you the most is holding out on you? If that is a yes, take those thoughts straight to Him. He will show you in a million little ways how He has blessed you and provided your whole life. A Father only withholds if He knows there is something better. And for His daughters He wants the best. The very best.
And as my arm is wrapped around your shoulder, I encourage you to stay awake. Stay awake to what you have, who you are and who you are not. Pay attention to what gains your attention and see if you really want it to. Fix your eyes on the things that are REAL, that you can reach out in touch. That little device in your hand holds too much that is edited, opinionated, and automated. You don't need to see it all or be it all, just be all of who you are. The world needs more of that.
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