I have a hard time sitting still. I have a difficult time not creating a "to-do" list and then crossing tasks off one by one. It makes me feel like I'm in control of the day, and that I am accomplishing the day one load of laundry at a time. I like to be busy; I like to feel accomplished and productive. And I know you do too!
In church world you would call me a "Martha". Busy, hustling, multi-tasking and prepping for the next activity, the next day, the next move. It's efficient, it's helpful, it's smart! But is it always the best choice in the moment? Because that is what we are constantly doing...assessing and making decisions on what we think is best right now. And the schedules we keep dictate the lives we live.
So is the "to-do" list more important than the faces being kissed? Is the multi-tasking more valuable than the hearts that are asking for all of your attention? Is that thing you want going to fix the places in you that have been hurt or dismissed?
Are you wired this way? The natural posture of your mind is to do, to help, to serve, to pour out, to fix, to help? Are you waiting for that house to come, that relationship to change? Are you desiring those two precious pink lines to show up? Are you wanting to change your habits, to be free from comparison and insecurity and so you think doing more will help that? Does God have you in a season of waiting or being still? You can often feel unproductive, unloved, invalid, and as if time is standing still...and you're not moving forward. And that's just it, maybe you are not supposed to be moving at all.
God is re-wiring my mind. He is changing the way I think.
"...but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."
Can I challenge you with something?
I am starting to believe, from my own personal humbling, that when we start looking at our life on what we should be doing and where we should be going, we begin to shift the focus from God to ourselves. Because it's not about what you're doing it's about who you are becoming. And it's not about us, it's about God, and it always will be.
And when you are in a waiting season, it's not always about a lesson to be learned it's about God's love to be discerned.
Whenever I have been in a season of waiting, it has always been about my faith and relationship with the Father. And it's not me asking myself or Him what do I need to do better? But it's finding all the ways that I am His treasure. He is way more focused on your heart than your list, more focused on shaping you than giving you what you want or moving you to the next season. He is after YOU!
So many people in the Old Testament went through seasons of waiting, and it was to grow their faith. And God showed up!
He is not in the doing, but He is in the ABIDING, the DWELLING, the BEING STILL. He loved Mary and Martha and He was pouring His love on both, but who was in a posture to receive it?
We have to be at His feet.
Mary and Martha both responded when their brother Lazarus died. Martha ran to Jesus asking Him what should we DO!? She was standing, yes she honored Him and believed in Him, but she was ready to go to work, she was ready to fix it, help, jump in, and serve. All good things, all Godly things yes, but was this the moment for it?
Mary...she ran to Jesus and she fell at His feet.
I am realizing that I must be at His feet before I move forward. I want to wake up and not think of my "to dos" but say, "God, what are You up to today? Because I want to be a part of it!"
If He hasn't told you to move, don't. If He has you waiting, don't worry, because He is working. Working on your circumstance but more importantly He is working on your heart. He is re-wiring you from the inside out.
Don't get me wrong, I still love making "To-Do" lists, they just a look a lot different now.