It was a perfect storm. It was one of those days that couldn't have gone any worse. (I know so encouraging right? Just hang with me) I know you have had them. The middle and youngest girl just chose to wake up mad; mad at the world, mad at their cereal, mad at each other and mad at mom. Why? Just because. Because they were unhappy and they wanted me to know about it. (And our neighbor next door the screams were that loud)
The oldest was as sweet as could be, and she was eagerly wanting me to do everything with her. Play with her, teach her, read her the Bible no less, water the plants with her, and of course, like the perfect storm that it was I couldn't...literally couldn't. Someone was always crying or fighting or spilling something. So I had to turn her down time after time and turn to the other two and kiss boo boos, and teach, and discipline and correct ever so gently (which lasted till about...lunchtime), and to try to do anything to just stop the madness! And to top it off...Griffin was sick, like couldn't move, could barely breathe, coughing like crazy kinda sick. So I was going around with oils and diffusers, and spoons full of elderberry and natural lysol stuff just trying to quarantine the sick man while managing the monkeys!
At the end of the day I got in bed at eight and Griffin said to me, "You're going to bed already?" And I said, "Yes, I need this day to end. I really need to start over." And that was it. I went to bed with good intentions, took deep breaths, prayed through it all, did my nightly routine of stretching, lotion and pillow spray. (Griffin makes fun of me for this, but I sleep incredibly well. He is missing out) Yet, I woke up...and the cloud of yesterday had not worn off. My mood wasn't any better. I still felt discouraged and I still felt like a failure. I still felt the weight of all of the hard moments from yesterday and my attitude was sighing, "Great here we go again." The day hadn't even started yet but I all I felt was the angst of yesterday in my heart. I mean I hadn't even seen their faces, I hadn't even put my feet on the ground and I was allowing my feelings of yesterday to dictate my decisions of today. Do you do that sometimes?
I know I can be honest here because you have probably felt this way too. And I want to be honest because I desperately want you to know that you are not alone. This motherhood business is no joke and sometimes it can be so hard and lonely and we wake up overwhelmed by the day before us. We wake up feeling like there is no way we can accomplish all that is on our plates. But what God is showing me is that the sun doesn't rise in obligation for us but in affirmation of us.
When that new day dawns and we open our eyes, remember the sun is shining because God believes in you and God is in you and is working through you. Even when you had a terrible yesterday, you lost your temper, you didn't have patience, you didn't set the good example. Maybe you can't figure out the best way to discipline, to love, to encourage. Even when you are totally out of energy, and you want to let them binge watch Daniel Tiger all morning. (Nothing wrong with that either my friend) We must check our hearts. Because we don't have to live in the weight of the worst moments, we were not created to. We don't have to let the load carry over to the next day, we have to hit refresh. Refresh on our minds, our hearts and take a deep exhale and know, know that by "...His divine power He has given us everything we need." 2 Peter 1:3
He hasn't given you the things you might want but He has given you the things you need. And what you need, I need, we all need is access to the Spirit to tap into the love, the joy, the peace, the patience, the goodness and the self-control (an extra dost of that one please) that He possesses. We need grace every morning, and peace at night. Rest I think is a reminder to us that we are not God and He is. And He isn't keeping score of your mistakes, He isn't keeping track of the times you lost your temper. He is picking you back up when you fall, He is wiping your tears and unclenching your fists, because He sees you, and He sees your children and He is with you.
Remember as you start a new day tomorrow that He has given you everything you need, which is, most importantly, Himself. Hit refresh and fix your eyes and heart on things above.
I’m Heather a blessed wife and mama to four little souls who always keep me wild and free. My goal is to uplift and inspire as I share my life with you. Thanks for stopping by!