What a whirlwind this past month has been. And oh my how the Lord has taught me so much about my husband, my priorities, my daughters and His grace. So this post is going to be jumbled and all over...like my brain at the moment! But just stick with me as I share some amazing truths that the Lord has taught me and I share with you the most beautiful Sky I have ever seen.
This past pregnancy was my hardest mentally and physically. This labor was the longest and the most exhausting of the three. But I learned so many incredible truths in the past 4 weeks. The first one is that I learned how much my husband loves me. I could not have done this without him. He was my strong and steady. He was my deep breaths, my one contraction at a time mentality. He was the voice I needed to hear telling me, "You're doing a great job. You've got this." Especially when I really felt like I didn't have this. He was my calm when everything around me felt crazy. He was my secure, my solid ground, safe place when everything else was spinning. I fully believe that the Lord had my weaknesses in mind to match Griffin's strengths. He is why I smile. He is why in the midst of all of this, the beauty and madness of 3 little girls under 3 years old, (yea just take a moment to take that reality in... I sure am!) And after a long day when he sees the weary on my face, he grabs my hand and he spins me around the kitchen floor to dance singing a silly song just to make me laugh. Oh yes he is why I can smile!
In the midst of adjusting to a family of 5, I haven't had much of a set quiet time like I used to. It has been quiet prayers throughout the day, whispers for endurance and peace. And the spirit has still been speaking to me ever so gently...but He reminded me of something. Something very important that has shifted my priorities back in order. You see I had been waking up every morning immediately fixated on my role as a mom. I mean who wouldn't I literally woke up to, "Moooooooooooom!!!!!!" But He gently reminded me, "Do you know you are mine first before you are theirs? What happened to being fixated on Me? Because I am fixated on you? Not you as a mom...but just you." Wow...talk about taking a deep breath in. Yes Lord...I do have another name besides Mom. I am a child of God. I am a daughter. It is You and me in a relationship every day. He then whispered, "You leak what you are full of. So be full of Me. But to be full of Me, you must think about Me, not just giving me your motherhood...but give me you." I had realized I was leaking anxiousness, exhaustion, worry, impatience...not joy, love, peace, gentleness...you know...the fruits of the Spirit that we all long to possess and be full of. So full that they overflow out of you. What a sweet sweet reminder.
He has also shown me my children and the characteristics of their hearts. Harper is compassionate. She takes so much time to take care of her new baby sister, to be gentle and loving. In fact she is too loving...I am constantly reminding her to let Skyler breathe!! But the image of God I see in her is compassion and loving; an absolute tender heart. I am already praying for the Lord to show me how to teach her to protect her heart but keep her soft. For a woman of God is strong but ruled by gentleness. Paisley Joy...she is my wanderer. My sweet friend reminded me of a quote when describing her own son and I realized that this is my Paisy. "Not all who wander are lost" She loves to explore, by herself or with you. She is content taking it all in. She is wide eyed and mystified by the world around her. I pray that I can cultivate a heart of worship within her to be wide eyed about our Creator and His love and majesty. May she wander and always find God at the end.
Then I think about His Grace. I am exhausted, my body is worn, my mind is weary and why? Because I have the privilege and honor to be a mother, to give of myself to my children all day and all night. To love, to teach, to encourage and instruct. To give birth, and to hold hands and kiss faces. To wash hair, and sing lullabies. To be pulled in 3 different directions because everyone needs and wants Mommy, to be woken up and smile about it and not be frustrated because someone is screaming for me! That the sight of me, the smell of me, the touch of me makes them feel better, feel safe, feel ultimate love. What a picture of grace. What a picture of the love of Jesus.
Skyler Faith I feel like I have known you for more than a month. You have never felt like a stranger to me. From the moment you were put in my arms my heart was full. The Lord told me you will radiate peace and that is what you have done for me. I love you Skyler Faith. Our family is complete with you.
And I know that I can take a deep breath. I can keep going and not survive but thrive. Because the Lord reminded me that this is my Holy thing, this is my highest calling...and I was anointed for this.
I’m Heather a blessed wife and mama to four little souls who always keep me wild and free. My goal is to uplift and inspire as I share my life with you. Thanks for stopping by!